


All the Love

by WORLDLWT



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cemetery, Character Death, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles - Freeform, Harry in Love, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Married Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Parents Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Sad Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 14:28:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4964227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WORLDLWT/pseuds/WORLDLWT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twitter - @WORLDLWT</p><p>Harry buys Louis roses for every anniversary except Louis is 6 feet underground and Harrys talking to a tombstone</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Love

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's short and choppy I wrote this during an actual funeral so it's not exactly my best work 
> 
> Twitter @WORLDLWT

Life is a timed event. From beginning to end we work in intervals. Always awaiting the next moment. All these moments from birth on are felt with a sense of relief. When you finally get seated at a table inside that new fancy restaurant, you feel relief. When you are sky high, at the top of that three hour line at the amusement park, the wind moving your hair back and forth the sun beating on your skin, you feel relief. Some are exciting. The bubbles of excitement you feel when raffle tickets are being called off, anticipating a win, a glorious moment of pure luck. Even birth, you are surrounded by happy family members who have been anticipating your arrival for months now. 

Death is the only timed event that doesn't leave us with some feeling of bliss. The only opposing event in the vast world full of excitement and anticipation. Nothing hurts more than when they call the time of death. The body still and lonely, the soul doing a number of unimaginable things. That persons final timed encounter. A time not of excitement, a time no one wants to anticipate just the final step into the abyss of darkness. All of your excitement and happiness played back in your mind during those final minutes. The faces of loved ones, inspirational people or maybe that man you fell in love with for 5 minutes while crossing the road. They all fill your head and soul, their souls beckoning yours onward promising they'll see you soon when their time ends.

To come to this conclusion you need to experience loss of either yourself or another and as Harry placed down a single rose upon the dirt, freshly piled, grass not yet growing there he realized that life truly was a timed event. An event in which we have no control over. You can get up from the fancy table, you can get off the line at the amusement park but you cannot reverse death and that's what left him empty inside.

Harry always knew Louis was the one. The way his hair moved in the breeze, fanning over his eyes carefully, almost as if he would break if the strands of his hair whipped away too quickly. The way his forehead wrinkled up with his nose when he was pulling a face at him. He had these eyebrows that would sky rocket when he was not only questioning Harry but challenging him. Next was his eyes, a blue that took you on a boat ride through space. They were an endless journey, a new twist at every corner. They would shine brightly when his soul poured out for Harry, naked and vulnerable trusting him not to break his delicate innocence. An innocence that would shine through his smile, laugh lines etching his face, dazzling eyes squinted shut, head flown backwards, hands on his tummy. The tummy Harry adored. 

Kneeling down on the dirty ground Harry recalled all the times the large pads of his fingers gently charted Louis stomach, soft and warm under his finger tips. A simple memory that broke the strongest bonds in his heart. The memory meant more than it should, the only touchable thing left now, a cold and hard tombstone with his loves name engraved deeply and cleanly upon. 

Harrys fingers reached out touching the ends of the stone, rough and cold under his finger tips, a shiver ran down his spine leaving his body cold and spooked. The single rose now lay in the dirt a year after his death and Harry felt no need for more than a single rose and seldom words. 

"Hey Lou."

Harry felt his emotions welling up in his stomach, trying to escape through his eyes, tearing down his walls and climbing their way up his throat. The usual welling of tears, steep breaths and shaky hands as he talked to his dead husband.

"It's been a while now. A whole year to be exact."

Harry looked around to make sure no one was around as he leaned forward hugging the stone as if it were Louis himself.

"I miss you so much my love."

He pulled back composing himself, letting the stone rest alone as he dusted it off with a tissue in his pocket, fingers tracing the letters of the name that meant all too much to him.

"Today's our fifth year anniversary."

Harry looked down, his hand showcasing the silver band proudly. A small smile forming over his face, the memory of their wedding flooding his mind. Matching tuxedos, flowers, smiling faces and an aura of love the whole room seemed to feed off of. Nothing lasts forever unfortunately. Which is why when Harry got the call that Louis was in a deadly accident and they needed him to come identify his body he didn't think twice about his own sorrow. His initial reaction being, everything happens for a reason but to this day one year later he still can't understand why. Why his husband was ripped brutally from him, their bubble of love popped instantly when they pulled his body out from under his flipped car, eyes closed and body limp, dead on impact. 

He was coming home from work that night. A group of teenagers drag racing, not seeing his small car. They slammed him at over 100 mph, smashing his car inwards from the back, flipping it and killing him on impact. The doctors said he cracked his breastbone in two when he came in contact with the steering wheel.

They said it could have happened to anyone. The fatal incident, the ripping of a life from their lovers grasp. Harry would sit by his tombstone different scenarios of Louis' final moments. Did it hurt? Maybe it was painless. Harry sat there hoping that at the least his named swirled through his mind once during his final moments. Did the realization of death hit him or was it over in a blink. In that moment did he realize he would never again be waking up from his eternal sleep. 

Harry glanced down at the single rose. It was crisp and new sitting atop of the mass amounts of roses Harry purchased for other occasions. Birthdays, graduation dates, anything that gave him even the most feeble reason to visit the cemetery.

People thought he was insane, spending day and night by the tombs side. He never cried in public only in the privacy of Louis and his once shared bed. A cold foreign landscape now that only one tortured soul laid upon it every night. People wanted him to move out of that house, memories of Louis shot out at him everywhere making his life one lengthy cry. 

He refused though and as he sat looking at the stone he realized staying was for the best. He couldn't leave him here. 

"I've filled out an adoption application."

Louis was fond of children, always wanting one of his own. The least Harry could do was fulfill their wish, to raise a child. Harry never changed his last name, Tomlinson standing proud and strong at the end of all his legal documents. A final symbol of their lasting bond. 

Friends tried to get Harry to try dating again, he refused. Harry knew deep inside no one would compare to Louis. It felt almost like a dishonor, flinging all their years away and letting another man take over his spot and his memory. The only new addition he would be making is a child.

"It worked Lou. His name is David. He's from New York, your favorite city. I'll be meeting him next week. I'll tell him stories of his father, your interest and hobbies. I heard he likes sports, maybe he'll play soccer just like you."

The thought that Louis would never be running around their backyard with their child brought a fresh set of tears to his eyes. Spilling over and running down his cheeks.

"I don't know if I can do this without you. You would've been the fond and soft parent. I would've been the silly parent, the perfect combination to raise the perfect child."

He sat silently, butt wet from the ground a silence among the tombs creeping slowly around him. His thoughts encasing him inside his own brain.

"You would've been a wonderful father my love."

A breeze pasted. It was warmer than usual almost like a hug. A hug from a relative, almost as if Louis was holding me in the form of wind currents, reassuring me that he was indeed here.

When he first passed I saw him everywhere around the house, in our bed, the kitchen table as I munched on my cereal. For the first week I set up his place at the breakfast table making him his own bowl of cereal. A box I haven't touched since then. It still sat in our kitchen cabinet all the way on the top shelf.

When I saw him for the first time in the casket I fell to the floor crying, my sister rubbing my neck as I leaned over his lifeless form. He didn't even look the same he looked skinner. They covered up his scars from the wreck causing him to have an almost deformed look to him. I vividly remember leaning over his body every so often stroking his face or his hair. Everything for the final time. An end to the once limitless adventure of life. This was the end of his rollercoaster, the final forkful of food at the fancy table. 

The casket remained closed after that, his injuries apparently unpleasing for the rest of the family. When everyone was gone they opened it again for me and I placed my final kisses on his face before they locked it up and took him away forever.

I promised him then that every year I would visit him on all our special days as I walked away from the tomb the single rose sat silently on the ground and the next year I brought two, three, four one more for every year of his absence. And as the bouquet grew my sorrow diminished. The idea of him being gone settled in me. I brought our son, yes our son. He met his father a cold tombstone that held a once warm presence and every year I would bend down, eye level with the tomb and say my final words.

"I will love you for a life time Louis Tomlinson."

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter - @WORLDLWT


End file.
